It's my Party

Precious Goodbyes

2010-03-08T16:25:00.002-06:00

I look down and the paper beside me on the couch reads, “What is the purpose of life”. Ironic thing to see right now as I just learned 30 minutes ago that my brother-in-law’s mother has passed away. I am planning this week’s message for the high school ministry. “What is the purpose of life?” I stand on a solid Christian foundation. I know all the proper answers to that question, however, right now, it somehow seems rather ambiguous.

What is the purpose of life? We are meant to enjoy it. To relish it. To cherish it. To do something with it. But what. Right now, I need a simple answer for that question.

Diane went to be with her Father in the quiet of her own home surrounded by her family, whom she loved with all her heart, while her husband and partner in this life lie in his own hospital bed approaching his own meeting with his Creator. What is the purpose of life?

As a Theology major, I have spent the last couple of years in fairly intensive study with that question and in all that time I have never seen it in the light that I am in this moment.

Did she feel like she did enough? Saw enough? Helped enough? Lived enough? Loved enough? Is she going to journey to what her Heavenly Father has for her next confident that she did? Will she have regrets? Can such a thing as regret even exist on that journey?

Will God have to tell her “What is the purpose of life” or will she just automatically know when she reaches her destination? Should I even call it a destination?

One might hear my thoughts and grow concerned that I am playing on the fringes of a crisis of faith, but right now is quite the contrary. As a matter of fact, it has been a while since I have been so in awe of it. Encouraged by it. My faith tells me to live loudly and to love boldly and these are not the characteristics of regret. No, it is not a crisis of faith that I am having here, but rather, I think, a crisis of self. What is the purpose of life? When I embark on my own journey, will God have to tell me the answer to that question, or will I automatically know?

See I think that if you meet your Creator knowing that you did enough, saw enough, helped enough, lived enough and loved enough, He will not need to answer that question. You will just automatically know.

Thank you Father for blessing our lives with the beauty that was Diane Kammes. We know that you didn’t need to answer that question for her, Father but that she already knew. She is your precious company now Lord God until we all meet her home.

Amen

2009-09-27T08:34:00.001-06:00

In everything I did, I showed you that by this kind of hard work we must help the weak, remembering the words the Lord Jesus himself said: “It is more blessed to give than to receive.”

Acts 20:35

In the words of God’s beloved disciple, Maria Magdelana, “A givers hands are never empty.” I do not believe that it is coincidence that when we give of ourselves to something bigger than us, we inherently feel as if we got more than we gave. It isn’t coincidence, it is in our design. The feeling of fulfillment when we give; The freedom that comes with the release of worldy stuff; it is a natural consequence of becoming more like Christ. When Jesus simplified His expectations for us by giving us the greatest of the commandments: “Love God and Love others”, I believe He was giving us the blueprint to our architecture.

I was so struck after my first trip to Nicaragua. Eternally altered, though initially I couldn’t exactly figure out how or even why. It wasn’t as if I had never served before or been around those less fortunate. Then, on the ride home from the airport, while talking through my experience with my sister, she said something to me that has haunted me ever since. I so desperately wanted to understand how the people there could be so different and she conjectured that maybe it wasn’t just how different they were there, but also how different I was there. While we were in Nicaragua, that’s all there was. Loving God. And Loving others. There was no stuff. There was no work. There were no bills. No billboards trying to sell us something. There was just us missionaries, God, and a people who needed both. I was eternally altered because I had gotten a glimpse of how He created it to be.

A life of loving and serving without reservation is what He is beckoning us to. It is more blessed to give than to receive, because the reward that awaits he who gives his life away is beyond anything that this earth can provide or even comprehend. It isn't tangible or even visible here because it's deeper than that. It's inherent.

Nicaragua Pics

2009-01-30T21:26:00.002-06:00

Here is a link to some of my pics from Nicaragua if you are not able to see them on Facebook

http://www.flickr.com/photos/34895158@N07/?saved=1

Learnings from Nicaragua

2009-01-28T10:15:00.001-06:00

I’m haunted by the innocent joy of the people there. The joy of kids, who by our standards have nothing. Many of whom eat one meal a day, five days a week. I am haunted by the kindness of the adults whose homes, (we Americans would call it personal space), are being invaded by total strangers. But they aren’t put off or annoyed, but rather joyous and celebratory in our very presence. I was welcomed into my friend David’s home in a manner that has never happened to me in my life. As he took my hand and led me with excitement to meet his mother and sister, I expected a formal hello between adults. But that is not what I got. She hugged me and kissed my cheek. She invited us to stay and sit and began to pull up the tattered plastic chairs she had to give us a seat, while they stood, for she had given us strangers all the seating accommodations she had. I was perplexed when David ran into the house while we were there to visit with him, but overjoyed when he returned with his newborn niece and handed her to me. Something that must have been considered one of their most precious belongings, a newborn child, and he just wanted to share her with me. I was ruined. I am ruined. As I tried to tell my sister of this experience, I just wanted to figure out how they could be so different there in the way that they extend grace and unconditional love. She reminded me that maybe it wasn’t just about how different they are there, but also how different I was there. I was struck. The people of Puchacaupe gave me a bigger gift than I could ever give them. Because they gave me a glimpse of the me that Jesus sees. As I was seeing Christ in them, I believe that they were seeing Him in me. Oh what a gift.

2008-11-30T15:28:00.001-06:00

My world is spinning.
It feels like I'm turning circles.
I can't keep this pace.
I can't see You.
I'm not sure where You went.

I know You didn't leave me.
So where am I?
Did I leave You?
Are You speaking to me?
Because I can't hear You.

I'm scared now.
I'm afraid I missed You.
Did I run past You?
Should I turn around?
I can't hear You.
I don't know where I am.
I'm going to turn around....

Williams Sisters Announce They're Joining DSRL!

2008-09-06T16:22:00.001-06:00

This is the funniest thing ever!!!!

Ghostwriter

2008-08-19T10:21:00.013-06:00

*

Today I will be your hands and feet Father. An author for your story of love. God go with me as I write into the lives of your “least of these”. Help my words be silent and my actions be the exposition. Help my feet to go, my hands to heal and my heart to speak. Let my pen be your Son and my ink be your grace. Today I will write over a page full of heartbreak and despair with hope and love. Today I will write for You.

Signed,
The Ghostwriter

Correction

2008-08-19T10:13:00.002-06:00

Disclaimer:

I write the following under duress.......

As to the re-challenge from Brett in our much debated push-up contest, I concede to the Iowa stand-off. I reluctantly hand over the trophy to my challenger if only temporarily. (I have consulted with a colleague and have began training for our re-match). In the meantime..... I declare myself officially beaten.

Whew! That was hard. :)

Feeling Fortunate

2008-08-16T21:16:00.003-06:00

I just got home from my Iowa missions trip. It was amazing, devastating, heartbreaking and such a blessing. I still need time to process, so I won't elaborate too much. But some of my immediate take-aways.......

God gives and God takes away and we must be sure to keep our eyes on him both when we "get" and when it is "taken away".

Being the hands and feet of Jesus doesn't always receive the best reception but neither did He.

Jesus has a LOT of hands and feet in Iowa.

Praise and Worship doesn't have to happen inside the four walls of our church and I LOVE THAT!!!

(Problems getting pics to load tonight, but I will have them up tomorrow. Full album will be on facebook. )

Sharing Blessings

2008-08-03T05:52:00.002-06:00

So I got the opportunity to share my testimony last week at GCC. What a blessing. I really felt God using me to tell others about him and it was an amazing feeling. He has been so faithful to me over the past two years through some potentially really difficult situations. I am so grateful for my life and all that encompasses. One would think that it would have been really difficult to be so open about my mistakes, but for me it was just something I had to explain to be able to tell people what God had done for me. It wasn't easy or hard, it was just what I had to do to get to the good stuff. (Kind of like eating all the toppings off a Lou Manotti's pizza, just to get to the crust). I am so thankful to Zach and Ginger Creek for giving me the opportunity to talk about the amazing God I serve and how much he loves me.
I had so many people come up to me after the service and tell me their stories, and my heart poured out to these people who had loved ones with similar struggles that were still far from God. All I could say is stay on your knees and don't give up. I am here today because the people who love me never gave up on me. I believe that my mom prayed for me every day for fifteen years and God heard everyone of them.
Thank you to all who have loved me, supported me, and prayed for me. You inspire me and I will work every day for the rest of my life to be the servant that God desires me to be.

I'm Back!

2008-07-27T17:35:00.004-06:00

Wow, what a summer I have been having. Great excuse for my current blogging sabbatical. I just got back a week ago from the Bahamas with some of my small group. It was so awesome! What a blessing it was to be able to go and hang out in paradise with such great friends. The weather there is so incredible and the pace of life is so relaxed. It didn't take me long to fall in love. I can't wait to go back next year!

We tagged along with the Southworths. Aren't they cute!!!!!

My luggage finally arrived!!!

Brett and I had a push up contest. He said he won, but he totally cheated.

WE FED THE SHARKS after these sting rays!

Timmy and Linda put us up! They are so cool!

What? turn off my Blackberry!!! He must be crazy!!

2007-12-30T12:30:00.000-06:00

One of my clients sent this to me. It's a hoot!!

A WEEK AT THE GYM

If you can read this without laughing out loud.... well...... This is dedicated to everyone who ever attempted to get into a regular workout routine.

Dear Diary,For my sixtieth birthday this year, my daughter Rachel (the dear) purchased a week of personal training at the local health club for me. Although I am still in great shape since being a high school football cheerleader 43 years ago, I decided it would be a good idea to go ahead and give it a try.I called the club and made my reservations with a personal trainer named Keri, who identified herself as a 26-year-old aerobics instructor and model for athletic clothing and swim wear. My daughter seemed pleased with my enthusiasm to get started! The club encouraged me to keep a diary to chart my progress.

MONDAY :Started my day at 6:00 a.m. Tough to get out of bed, but found it was well worth it when I arrived at the health club to find Keri waiting for me. She is something of a Greek goddess - with blond hair, dancing eyes and a dazzling white smile. Woo Hoo!! Keri gave me a tour and showed me the machines. I enjoyed watching the skillful way in which she conducted her aerobics class after my workout today. Very inspiring! Keri was encouraging as I did my sit-ups, although my gut was already aching from holding it in the whole time she was around. This is going to be a FANTASTIC week-!!

TUESDAY :I drank a whole pot of coffee, but I finally made it out the door. Keri made me lie on my back and push a heavy iron bar into the air - then she put weights on it! My legs were a little wobbly on the treadmill, but I made the full mile. Keri's rewarding smile made it all worthwhile. I feel GREAT-!! It's a whole new life for me.

WEDNESDAY :The only way I can brush my teeth is by laying the toothbrush on the counter and moving my mouth back and forth over it. I believe I have a hernia in both pectorals. Driving was OK as long as I didn't try to steer or stop. I parked on top of a GEO in the club parking lot. Keri was impatient with me, insisting that my screams bothered other club members. Her voice is a little too perky for early in the morning; and when she scolds, she gets this nasally whine that is VERY annoying. My chest hurt when I got on the treadmill, so Keri put me on the stair 'monster'. Why the h*** would anyone invent a machine to simulate an activity rendered obsolete by elevators? Keri told me it would help me get in shape and enjoy life. She said some other s*** too.

THURSDAY :Keri was waiting for me with her vampire-like teeth exposed as her thin, cruel lips were pulled back in a full snarl. I couldn't help being half an hour late, it took me that long to tie my shoes. Keri took me to work out with dumbbells. When she was not looking, I ran and hid in the restroom. She sent another skinny b**** to find me. Then, as punishment, she put me on the rowing machine -- which I sank.

FRIDAY :I hate that b**** Keri more than any human being has ever hated any other human being in the history of the world. Stupid, skinny, anemic, anorexic little cheerleader. If there was a part of my body I could move without unbearable pain, I would beat her with it.Keri wanted me to work on my triceps. I don't have any triceps! And if you don't want dents in the floor, don't hand me the D*** barbells or anything that weighs more than a sandwich. The treadmill flung me off and I landed on a health and nutrition teacher. Why couldn't it have been someone softer, like the drama coach or the choir director?

SATURDAY :Keri left a message on my answering machine in her grating, shrilly voice wondering why I did not show up today. Just hearing her made me want to smash the machine with my planner. However, I lacked the strength to even use the TV remote and ended up catching eleven straight hours of the Weather Channel.

SUNDAY :I'm having the Church van pick me up for services today so I can go and thank GOD that this week is over. I will also pray that next year my daughter Rachel (the little s***) will choose a gift for me that is fun -- like a root canal or a hysterectomy. I still say if God had wanted me to bend over, he would have sprinkled the floor with diamonds!!!

Istn't that the funniest thing ever!!!!!

Christmas Morning Ramblings

2007-12-25T07:22:00.000-06:00

It's 7:00 am Christmas morning. Most of my family is still asleep. I have just had some time this morning, before we jump into the commercial aspect of Christmas, to reflect on it's history. God keeps bringing the words to me "He paid a debt he did not owe, because I owed a debt I could not pay". I've been really digging into those words this morning. Ever since my wreck, things like that just seem all the more fantastic.
I went to a Christmas Eve service with my family last night, and the pastor offered the visual of what the first Christmas Eve must have been like in Heaven. A Father sending his son off to war, just like one might do today, only he didn't just fear his son would die an agonizing death, he knew it. Can you imagine? Now I don't have kids, but I don't think you have to, to understand how hard that must have been. Only he did it, without question. What kind of love is that? It is truthfully still so hard for me to wrap my brain around. I've been raised in the church, it's been a part of my entire life.....but that is still a hard concept to grasp. Imagine whatever it is that you love most in the world. Be it a child, or a parent, sibling, or maybe it is a material posession. Now imagine, gladly handing it over for destruction by people who hate you, for people who hate you. WOW! Doesn't that just make you want to meet him! Man, I can't wait. Talk about Star Struck. We don't know the meaning of the word...yet!
Merry Christmas friends! I hope you all have an awesome day with family and friends. And I hope that whatever gifts you give and receive this season, that you will be reminded of the biggest gift you were given by the one who loves you most.

When is enough enough??

2007-11-30T16:41:00.000-06:00

November Starbucks Log:

Monday a.m.:
Ordered: Quad Grande non-fat no foam latte x-hot
Received: Quad Grande full fat double foam latte, luke warm

Monday p.m.:
Ordered:Double Tall non-fat no foam latte
Received: Double Tall non-fat double foam latte, very very hot....

Wednesday a.m.:
Ordered: Double Tall non-fat no foam latte, x-hot, reduced fat blueberry coffee cake
Received: Double Tall non-fat double foam luke-warm latte and raw blueberry coffee cake

Wednesday p.m.:
Ordered: Pumpkin spiced Double Tall non fat latte
Received: Not sure exactly

Friday a.m.:
Ordered: Quad Grande nonfat no foam latte
Received: 14 Shot Grande nonfat no foam latte

........ When you get this kind of service and you still continue to go (I'll be making a pit-stop in an hour before I go babysit).... is that bad? Does that denote some sort of problem?????

Is there an AA for starbucks? Maybe I should start one. Or I could just start a coffe shop where you GET WHAT YOU ORDER!!!!!

31 Days and Counting

2007-11-23T21:59:00.000-06:00

I was in such a great mood on Wednesday. Kellie kept asking me what is wrong with you. Apparently, I am generally a grouch, so when I spent an entire day with a huge smile on my face, it must have forced my sister to assume I was loosing it.

I thought it was just because I was getting very close to two whole days off, which hasn't happened for me in over three months, and I'm sure that played a part in it, because even the thought of it now is giving me some small butterflies. (I have thoroughly enjoyed my time off yesterday and today), but, I realized today that what I was so excited about was that once you pass Thanksgiving, the countdown to Christmas officially begins. My psyche knew that we were almost there and I was filled with this child-like anxiousness. (Is that a word)?

I love Christmas. It is such a feel good time of year. I don't know if it is my own childhood memories of what Christmas was for us, or if I am still just a child at heart, but I reallly realllly love Christmas. I went Christmas shopping this morning and bought for several people on my list and I had a blast. There is just something that happens to my temperament once I get past Thanksgiving. It's as if there's nitric oxide in the air that I'm breathing and I just get goofy.

My favorite things to do from Thanksgiving to Christmas.........
1. Listen to Christmas music..... all the time.
2. Watch Christmas classics like Christmas Story and Grinch.(I'll see at least 2-3 a week from
now till Christmas).
3. Shop for Christmas presents. (You know you are officially grown up when you really have
more fun buying things for your loved ones then you do getting things from them).
4. Send out Christmas cards. (It sounds like a chore, but I love doing it).
5. Decorating. (It's hard because I don't have my own house to decorate anymore, but helping
Kellie is fun too).
6. Load up on the seasonal Starbucks treats. (Precursor to Christmas dinner).

And it all culminates to the big night. Christmas Eve. We will watch It's a Wonderful Life(my tradition) and fall asleep in front of the tree w/ the fireplace lit (their tradition). I'm sooooo stoked.

Hope you all had a great thanksgiving. And...... aaahhhh heck, I don't care how early it is.....Merry Christmas!!!

Touched

2007-10-07T18:51:00.001-06:00

I got really touched by a sermon given today at my church. Actually, I think it was more the drama that set up the sermon, and I just wanted to share my thoughts.

The drama was about two guys at a Starbucks who hadn't seen each other in a while and proceeded to have a very superficial conversation that didn't even remotely depict what was really going on in their hearts. Out of their mouths, we got to hear the same conversation that we all have every week....."how ya doing, I'm fine. How's the family, their great..."But on the screens, we got to see the "true" conversation.....He has the perfect life, I'll bet my wife wishes she'd married him, I wonder where they're vacationing this year, we're about to lose our house...."

How many times when we encounter an acquaintance, do we this very same thing? Why don't we take the risk to tell them what's really going on with us, or try harder to find out what they're going through?

I am so guilty of it. The odd thing is, that I have such a heart for helping others and have tried, since my wreck, to devote some regular time to volunteering in different capacities. Yet, after today, I think I have just been deceiving myself. What risk is there in pulling up to food bank in my new car carrying my Coach purse and sporting my new Abercrombie sweats to pack food for two hours.

Not that I am trying to dimish the work that we did there. I'm not. Lives were touched and thats dynamite. However, I have the opportunity to touch lives every time I walk out the door, and I don't. I have the "hydroplane" connections. I ask, "how ya doing", and I really want an "I'm good" in response. Why? What am I so afraid of?

Is it that they will find out what a mess I really am? Is it that they will take up too much of my precious time? --Maybe I'm afraid they will find out I'm a sinner? As if they couldn't tell.....

Anyway, I don't have it all processed yet. But how about you? Do you "hydroplane" all day or do you have on your snow tires?

Christianity 101??

2007-10-06T17:00:00.000-06:00

I titled this post "Christianity 101" because what God has shown me this week is really basic faith principle.

I have been really struggling lately with my prayer life. Not to sound as if I am throwing myself a pity party, I AM NOT. I know everyone is very busy and leads really hectic lives, I just happen to be living "my" busy and hectic life. And it is..... busy and hectic. Between work and school and dealing with the finalizing of stuff from my wreck, medical, monetary, legal, etc, the MAT certification that I have been working on.....blah, blah, blah, my prayer life has just really taken a hit. And obviously, since I am posting about it, it is weighing heavy on my heart.

I do feel a tangible distancing from God when I am not in daily communication with him. I will never quite understand why in my heart it is truely the most important thing to me, yet, for some reason it is always the easiest one to cross off the list when life gets overbooked. So as I have been struggling with this in my brain, I felt like God brought something to my attention that really helped. So I share, even though it makes me look kind of stupid, because I hope it will help someone else.

Basic, I know, but here's what He gave me.

When my prayer life is not what it should be, I, (meaning me and my relationship with God), am not the only one that suffers. All the people, places, circumstances, and situations that God wants me to be praying for, pay a price too. Now, does God bring other people into the mix when I am not carrying my weight. I'm sure, but who are their prayers being taken from, to take up my slack.

It may sound kind of silly. But it has put a huge spin on things for me. It just kind of a double whammy! I got a reminder that my prayer life is not completely personal. It is a responsibility I must own, to my brothers and sisters in Christ, as well as to an entire world who hasn't met Him yet.

How does that change things? Well, in a way, it doesn't. I am still very busy and it's still going to be extreemely difficult to clear my mind every day and not only talk to Him, but pray to Him. But, what's different is, starting now, I am going to try a lot harder to make it happen. And when it doesn't happen, I'm going to make sure to remind myself, that someone who needed prayer today, had to be turned over to someone who was more obedient.

So, there ya go. I hope someone else is able to be touched by my simple minded epiphanies.

3:10 to Yuma - Trailer

2007-09-15T14:21:00.001-06:00

3:10 to Yuma

2007-09-15T14:09:00.001-06:00

3:10 to Yuma

Took your advice Tom and went to see 3:10 to Yuma last night. Awesome flick. I was expecting more of an action flick but was pleasantly surprised at the story line.

Russell Crowe was really good as was Christian Bale and the guy that played Crowe's sidekick should totally get an Oscar nod for his performance. He almost stole the show. Great supporting performance. Really good script and a lot of great one liners. All and all,.....huge thumbs up.

New Addition to My Top Five

2007-09-07T13:41:00.001-06:00

So, I finally took a break today and went to the movies with my sister. We saw the Bourne Ultimatum.

That was one incredible movie. The stunts were awesome. The shots were awesome. The script was awesome. That hunk of a man Matt Damon was awesome. The action started in the first six seconds and literally did not stop till the last 6 seconds. I have totally made a new addition to my top five, thought it should really be called my top six since I can't seem to pick one worthy of knocking off the list.

I won't ruin it for anyone who hasn't seen it, though I think I was the only one left on the planet that hadn't seen it. But let me just say.... thankfully, I don't think we have seen the end of Jason Bourne.

Or should I say David Web.........

If you haven't seen it..... YOU HAVE TO.... Let me know. I'll go with you.

What to do with a bi-lateral brain.

2007-08-20T19:58:00.001-06:00

Most of the time I consider myself pretty right-brained. I love the arts. I love music, movies, pictures, paintings and anything of the sort where I see talent and feel emotionally moved by it. However, as most of you know, I have this new career that I am developing(for which I have an equal passion and probably more talent.... unfortunately), and I have found myself lately, in a position where my "right-brain" life is being totally eclipsed by it's "left-brained" counterpart-- and it is causing me to feel restless. It seems that the studying and working to become a better trainer has left me nothing in the way of an outlet for this other side of my psyche.

Mostly, I'm sure because I have a real tendency to take on too much and then something always gets shorted, ....usually it's my sleep. But also, because I just can't seem to figure out how to turn one off, and let the other one loose.

Like writing for example. Some of you know that I love to write. I do it a lot in my spare time. (or at least I used to). I don't share a lot of it with very many people, but it is definitely a passion. But, after a 12 hour day of observing people's quirky and disfunctional squats and laying face down in a biomechanics book to try to figure out what's wrong with them, I can't seem to come home and sit in front of my computer, and all the sudden feel inspired to write a poem, or even produce a creative blog post. I want to, it's just not there.

It's like it has to be one or the other in some way that I don't completely understand, and it is burying me.

I should be looking to God for balance I know, but I don't even know where the imbalance lies or even for sure that there is one. Maybe you do have to pick one or the other. Maybe you can't cohabitate in both worlds like that. Maybe I'm just exhausted and I'm rambling. I don't know.

Anyway, that's my life lately. I don't write, I haven't sat and watched an awesomely produced flick with a killer script, or been to look at a jaw-dropping piece of art in months......but I did spend 18 hours this weekend learning some pretty incredible stuff in the way of Alpha and Gamma motor neurons and their effect on reflex mediated stiffness.

No whitty banter to offer these days, but I sure can give you the low down on why your right shoulder won't externally rotate.

This is what your brain looks like on 16 hours of MAT

2007-07-15T18:39:00.000-06:00

I just finished up with the first of three modules for MAT jumpstart. For those of my fitness industry challenged friends.... you know who you are... MAT stands for Muscle Activation Techniques.

I have been learning to identify and correct malfunctioning muscles, whether from overtraining, injury or just lack of use, (muscles that have shut down); and I am gaining the tools to turn them back on, so to speak, so that now when I train a client, they can do the work correctly with all cylinders firing. It has given me a brand new meaning to "functional exercise".

What an amazing weekend. Long. We started Saturday morning about 8:30 and finished about 5:30 and started again at 8:30 on Sunday and went till about 6:00. There is nothing quite like the sight of a bunch of personal trainers hammering around on each other to try to find weaknesses in the other. Especially when those trainers work together everyday! About half of us were women, so I can't blame it all on testosterone, but whatever was filling that room was it's equivalent.

On a more serious note, I learned so much. This stuff is so amazing. It was as if I had to remind myself a couple times that it's real, it's not voodoo. Our instructor was a guy by the name of Kevin Dunn. He was awesome. He is a PT and also an MAT specialist. I don't know how old this guy is, (I'm probably older than him), but still, I want to be him when I grow up!!!

So there are two more modules. This time we did lower body. Next we will do trunk and spine and then upper body. One will be in August and the final one in September. 4 weeks will go fast and I want to have this stuff down before we start the next one, so I will be looking for guinea pigs y'all.
Anyway, I am so glad I decided to go ahead and start training before I finished school.This weekend totally cemented that decision. I LOVE MY JOB!!!
I hope you all had a great weekend. Long post are okay when you've been on a sort of blogging sabbatical. Right?

Stay tuned, Pictures of my weekend to come soon!!
See ya friends.

What do you think?

2007-07-12T11:52:00.000-06:00

Faith, Love, Morality, Hate
War, Laughter, Joy, Pain
Lies, Hope, Freedom, Despair
Grace, Beauty, Degradation, Fear
Isolation, Strength, Rejection, Strife
Insecurities, Casualties, Compassion, Life
-Unknown

Need Your iphone Now?

2007-07-03T14:48:00.000-06:00

Saw this article today.
Helpful hints for others like me, who are dying for the iphone, but contractually stuck in a stupid contract with a phone that can now only be seen as unworthy.

Check it out here....

http://www.wired.com/gadgets/wireless/news/2007/06/iphone_howto

Quote of the Week

2007-06-24T15:18:00.000-06:00

In light of this seeming to be the week for me putting my foot in my mouth and being a sort of self-inflicted, misunderstood rogue; I thought this was an appropriate quote of the week.

enjoy.

I know that you believe that you understood what you think I said, but I am not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant.

Robert McCloskey, State Department spokesman (attributed)

Sharing Grace

2007-06-23T11:50:00.000-06:00

New images of my wreck I recieved from my lawyer last week.

I just wanted to continue to share God's amazing grace.

I want to always be a testament to those who need it that He will always take you back!

Processing

2007-06-17T17:56:00.000-06:00

What a week! First the Willow Creek Arts Conference and then Operation Helping Hands at GCC. Jesus showed his face to me all week long and I am in a spiritual euphoria.

I have a 5 page research paper due on Thursday, I haven't been able to even make a keystroke for today. I have just been processing my last 5 days alone in the house, which doesn't happen often, and my brain won't quit.

First the Willow Conference. It was such an awesome experience. My buddy Zach Montroy told me a while back that it was possibly at the root of him going into to ministry to begin with, and I can see why. It was humbling, and inspiring, and fulfilling and about a dozen other adjectives that I won't bore you with. Basically, life altering.

Some of my take-aways.....

Seeing David Crowder Band live was awesome. I love them and was shocked when I saw them. I didn't know until they were on stage that they were going to be there.

Attending New Community, (Willow's mid-week service) was so much fun. I am from podunk Indiana and have been to very few services of that magnitude, and it was very fantastic, (in the dictionary sense of the word), to stand there and praise God with David Crowder Band and probably 6,000 other believers. I made a memory. That's for sure.

I attended four really cool break-outs. I got a lot from them all. Probably what I am most excited about, however, is the last one I attended, which was a weekend at Granger. I got to see a media clip in that breakout of a woman's story that I was so inspired by that I plan to quickly turn it into a short story and hopefully a future script for GCC. (we'll see about the latter, since I seem to be struggling with screenplay genre of writing)

....hint, hint Tom Cox. If your out there, I could use some help!

Then there was OHH. What can I say. There are no words. When I laid my head down to sleep Saturday night, I knew in my heart that without a doubt, my Father was smiling. There isn't anything else to say, ya know???? That's what it's all about. What an awesome feeling to know that I played a part in putting that smile on His face. If you picture it literally. You can't help but smile too.

All in all, a week worthy of taking a day off to process. Back to life tomorrow though. Writing an A research paper usually requires doing at least a little research.

Oh, by the way. Personality tests came up during dinner after the conference on Thursday. I hadn't taken one in a very long time, so while vegging today, which for me means sitting in front of the computer for 5 hours, I took one. I am an iNFj. I don't know exactly what that means yet, but I understand that only 1% of the world are this type. Might I just say, before anyone else does... that explains a lot!!!! lol.

have a good week friends!!!

10 Things I Learned While Training To Be A Trainer

2007-06-06T20:47:00.000-06:00

1. Training to be a personal trainer requires more athletic stamina than actually training does.
2. I really am not 25 anymore, as I frequently pretend to be.
3. There are some challenges one can face where espresso is really not your friend (my heart
rate jumped to nearly 200 today).
4. God really does have a sense of humor (For today I was reminded that I actually prayed for
this).
5. Contrary to my longstanding opinion, there are actually situations in which exercise
really doesn't make you feel "good".
6. Personal Training is really more about sales than about training, (ironically the one job I have
intentionally avoided my whole life).
7. I'm tired
8. I'm sore
9. I may be dehydrated
10. I LOVE MY JOB!!!!

Ode to the Peeping Blogger

2007-05-13T20:24:00.000-06:00

Oh ye with the quiet keystrokes and the probing eyes.
Why oh why do you wear your disguise.

I share my thoughts, I lay out my life
These treasures of mine I offer to you
But I would love to hear your thoughts,
Know your life and learn your secrets too.

So when you drop by my site.
My little corner of this world.
I really hope that you just might
Give leaving a comment a whirl.

dedicated to all my friends who begged me to start this blog and then refuse to comment on my posts. i love you.... but you know who you are.....

Blake Lewis For Idol

2007-05-01T19:04:00.000-06:00

My official Banner!

"BLAKE LEWIS FOR IDOL!"

He did awesome tonight! That is what I call talent! Go BLAKE!

Feel free to diagree with me,........ZACH!......., But I think he was incredible.

Quote of the week.

2007-05-01T19:02:00.000-06:00

"With hurricanes, tornados, fires out of control, mud slides, flooding, severe thunderstorms tearing up the country from one end to another, and with the threat of bird flu and terrorist attacks, are we sure this is a good time to take God out of the Pledge of Allegiance?"

-Jay Lenno

I couldn't have said it better myself Jay!

Hello Friends

2007-04-27T17:54:00.000-06:00

Talk about a blogging sabbatical....
Man have I been busy. These last few weeks, since Easter, have gone by so fast. As many of you know I am preparing to sit for my CPT exams next weekend. I am also rounding out my semester and rapidly approaching finals week (insert dramatic dum.dum.dum....) I am struggling a bit with keeping organized and calm and mostly my focus in the right place. Why is it when we need God the most, is when we tend to cut ties. Just this morning, as I was driving to class feeling beyond stressed out, it occurred to me, my life has felt out of control all this week.... and I really haven't prayed about it. You would think that it would be second nature, if you love Him and if you trust Him, that you would immediately go to Him when you are losing your grip, but it rarely works that way. At least not for me. So when it dawned on me that I hadn't talked to him this week about what was going on with me, I immediately turned the radio off and started in on a long conversation and an hour later, while I was sitting in my Music Apprec class - out of nowhere a sense of calmness and peace came over me and I just had to say out loud right in the middle of the class, "thank you". I don't think anyone heard me, but I know He did and the rest of my day has looked completely different. Man, how much easier would life be if we always went to God first instead of it being an afterthought. Anyway, there's my sermon.

So what else have I been up to. Well, I saw Wednesday's "Idol" and it was incredible. What unbelievable numbers. I read today that "ONE" has officially been titled the fastest growing movement in history. I have been getting more and more involved for the last couple of months via their website and some contacts I have made from it and have just today emailed someone else about information and beginning stages in hosting a "ONE" event. I am growing very passionate about this movement and have hopes of getting involved on a level where I could create/host an event sometime this summer.

I urge anyone who is not registered with ONE to do so at http://www.one.org/ and most importantly, spread the word. We all know that knowledge is power. We must pull people's heads out of the sand to see what is going on.

I will post more about a possible future event as information unfolds and I urge you to begin praying as to how you can and will get involved.

Have a great weekend friends.

Easter at GCCC

2007-04-09T17:00:00.000-06:00

Well, our Easter services at GCC are all done. It was awesome and so much fun. It's kind of bitter sweet really. It was a lot of really long hours and still doing work and school and studying and babysitting too made for a very long week with very little sleep(I think I counted something like 34 hours in 7 days), but it was so worth it. (Especially since I slept 10 1/2 hours last night!)
I don't know what the official number is yet, but I know a lot of souls were won for Christ this weekend and I got to be a part of it! What an honor.

It is so much fun to be a part of a team so in love with God. I get so amazed by the talent and the gifts that God has handed out to some of these people. Even though I know I am doing it for God, I get so much too.

I became a part of the production team at GCC last summer. One of my favorite people in the world, Jay Pape, convinced me that I had to check it out. (Actually he coerced me with coffee, I wonder how he figured out my weakness, I usually hide my addiction so well!) Anyway, I will forever be in his debt for introducing me to something that has blessed me so much. It is an indescribable feeling to know that you had some role in bringing someone to God. Knowing that because of whatever small part you played, this person's life is going to be changed FOREVER!

I am proud to stand on the battle field next to some of the people that I admire most in this world. The Arts Team at Ginger Creek Community Church. Above are some pictures of the team during rehearsals. We look serious, but I assure you, many laughs were shared by all.

Sanjaya Be Gone!

2007-04-05T08:25:00.000-06:00

I haven't watched last nights show yet but I heard on the news this morning that Howard Stern is now backing Sanjaya on his radio show. Is this really who we want to take musical talent advice from. What is going on here?

Maybe I have just gotten more invested than is really healthy into such a "pop culture phenomenon", but I am also a talent junkie and this kid doesn't have any. He is ruining my "Idol" experience.

Sanjaya Be Gone!!!!!

Quote of the Week- Happy Easter!

2007-04-03T07:00:00.000-06:00

He became what we are that He might make us what He is.

... Saint Athanasius, 295-373

Wow!

2007-03-27T12:58:00.003-06:00

Okay, let me just start of by saying wow, God is good!

My grandma fell and broke her hip, or actually the end of her femur, late Friday and so my sister and I and her kids went down to Indiana a few days ago to be there for her surgery. Of course things like this always bring the family together so I got an opportunity to see my half brother and sister while I was there which generally is reserved for instances just like this. Not that there is a bad relationship, just a lack of one.

Many of you know that my dad was an alcoholic for most of his life. After he and my mom divorced, when I was 6 months old, he got remarried and had 3 more children. Two boys, one girl. The oldest, Jacob, was killed in a car wreck several years ago.

My dad got sober and has been for 10 years. Shortly after he made the commitment, he and my sister Kellie began to re-establish a relationship, and the health of my family began to shift in a very positive direction. Now, 10 years later, my mom, my dad, my sisters and myself all have the makings of a healthy family connection and I see more positive changes with each passing year.

However, the relationship between my dad, and his two children by his second marriage, has been static. When the youngest of them, Jarod, showed up at the hospital, I told Kellie I wished an opportunity would present itself for her/us to have a heart to heart with him about dad. But, being the sinner that I am, I pretty much left it there. I didn't take it to God in prayer as I should have and thus didn't at all expect anything to transpire.

It so happened that dinner was mentioned in the 15 minutes that Jarod was there, and without thinking, I invited him to come with us. No premeditation, no ulterior motive, just a quick you should come as I was walking out the door. He said he would love to.

Later that day, we went to Mr. Gattis, (the best pizza joint ever), and the whole family came with. I don't know how except for divine intervention of God, but as most everyone was leaving, the subject of dad, one that is generally taboo around Jarod, came up. I don't even remember by who. But Kellie and I jumped on it! What transpired from there was totally God at work. About a two hour conversation between Kellie and myself and Jarod that went on even after I went home with the kids.

The conversation, according to Kellie, ended well but she wasn't sure what he thought about it. When he walked into the hospital room the next day, we all three, strangely enough, found ourselves alone and were able to talk again. Jarod was so exposed and real with us! He talked about how he got so much out of talking with Kellie and how he had even sought out shrinks after our brother died that didn't do for him what Kellie had done for him. And she was able to open his eyes about some things. He expressed some real receptiveness to our dad and mostly, a real interest in a more solid relationship with us.

Even as I write it all down, I can hardly believe how it all unfolded. God's hand was all over it. My grandma has the strength of ten women, and we almost considered not even going. And because we did, and for no other reason than we did, (meaning no prayer, no orchestrating, no manipulating) just merely because we were where God wanted us to be, where He had caused a series of events to make sure that we would be, some foundation was laid. Not only to further the healing of my family, but to open a door for Kellie and I to minister to the incredible, bright, handsome, driven, responsible young man. That we both love very much.

How incredible is our God! Even when we aren't doing anything to help, He is still working. I have been so blown away by His power this past year. It sets me on fire and I can not wait to meet HIM!

Thanks to you all that were praying for my grandma. She did so well. She is a rock. She was sitting up already yesterday and today they had her standing, she even took a couple steps. They are planning to transfer her to transitional care for physical therapy sometime today!
Woman is unstoppable.

Sharing a Special Anniversary

2007-03-22T15:35:00.000-06:00

I fall on my knees today Father

And I know You're catching every tear.

You see my heart, you hear my thoughts

Today, it's been a year.

You were there with me weren't You?

I heard Your voice when I came to.

You must have called my name and touched my face

And whispered, Kerrie, I love you.

You put your hand in front of the dash didn't You?

You told Satan that's as far as you get to go.

I know he told You he wanted my soul,

But he heard You when You said no.

Thank You Father for saving a life that was tattered, lost and broken.

I hand it completely back to You as just a small token.

Quote of the week

2007-03-18T15:51:00.000-06:00

Some people say they would want to live next to the Church,
But I would rather live two miles from hell on the rescue team.

My "Idol" vent

2007-03-14T20:05:00.000-06:00

Okay, come on already! I don't mean to be insensitive. Anyone who knows me knows I am the total opposite. But does anybody but me think it is ridiculous that Sanjaya malakar is still not kicked off American Idol yet. I am watching week after week thinking, he has to go this week. And still, tonight, NO! He's still there. He is completely out of his league, and is taking a space from someone who deserves it.

So to all you other "Idol" freaks..... if you are voting for him. Please Stop!

Kerrie's Quote of the Week

2007-03-08T21:30:00.000-06:00

I'm kind of a quote junkie. I like to hang out on a few different quotes sites when I get time. I find them interesting and often times a quick kick in the pants. So, I thought I would start sharing some that I find particularly interesting on a weekly basis. Here is the first...... enjoy!

Is prayer your steering wheel or your spare tire?

-Corrie Ten Boom

When God makes you go Hmmm

2007-03-03T14:26:00.002-06:00

Isn't it incredible when you have an aha moment when you didn't even know that you didn't know. Okay, I understand how confusing that just sounded so let me explain. This week I started on my admissions essays for Wheaton College. One of the essays I had to write was on why I chose my field of study. Now obviously I have been asked that question before and I have my standard generic answers. "I want to help people. I want to be a part of giving unhealthy and overweight people their lives back.....blah, blah, blah," but I don't know that I had ever given it enough thought to really be able to answer this question. See what the question said and what I heard were two completely different things. The question was asking some 18 year old kid why they wanted to be what they wanted to be, ---but what I heard was why at 30 did you decide to uproot your entire life to study Kinesiology at Wheaton College in Wheaton, Illinois. It was such an aha moment for me because even though I have answered that question a hundred times, this time it seemed like it was being posed not to get an answer out of me, but to give me an answer. I felt like God was beginning to reveal something incredible to me through this seemingly simple question.

So heres the gist of what I came up with..

When I am in a lab with a cadaver (keep reading even if I just grossed you out), I feel closer to God. Much like we feel closer to Him when we study His word. It makes perfect sense that we get to know Him better when we study His truth. But I didn't realize how much closer I feel to Him when I study His art. When I study the amazing design of the human body, I see His magnitude, I see His transcendent genius. If you have never held a human heart in your hands, you cannot understand the gravity. The first time I did, I literally trembled. The way it works, the way it was created. It helps me to see Him and I love that I can be slayed by His grace in such a seemingly secular environment.

So then I had to ask the follow up question. What happens after shool? After the studying is done, how does this fit practically into Gods plan for my life? Another difficult question that required significantly more soul searching. But again, I was given an answer. And it looked something like this.

God created this amazing design for one purpose. To serve Him. And he needs us to be at the top of our game to do this. Consider what your like after you have a long day, late night and early morning. When you get to work after that, you cannot possibly be at the top of your game, and when you are not at the top of your game, you let your company down, your boss down, your co-workers down, your customers down and yourself down. When we don't take care of our bodies so that they are at the top of their game, we let God down. God gave me a passion and a talent so that I could help and inspire people to be at the top of their game so that they are fit to do the job God has planned for them, so they are FIT FOR THE KING.

So I hope this has spoken to you. If God sees fit to keep you on this earth till one hundred only to do a specific job for him at the age of 99, I hope you are fit for the King. I know I wanna be.

And just in case you were wondering, no this is not a sales tactic, I'm not even training yet!!

Take care friends.

Where are you sunshine?

2007-03-03T10:22:00.000-06:00

So the gym has been packed lately. I keep wondering, where are all these people coming from. Then it hits me. Barometers are up. Infection has spread. Everyone has it. It's spring fever. Oh yeah, people are coming out of the woodwork (or just off their couches), to cure it and everyone seems to have an idea of how to do it. You know, lose weight, go shopping, new covertible, whatever. They are all confronting it and with vigor. My friend Katie cut all her hair off. (see above). Fevers can make you delusional but in her case, it worked out. Isn't she cute!

So you may be wondering, what are you doing about it Kerrie. Well, I'll tell ya. As I just learned about cell-mediated and anti-body mediated immunity in A&P (that's Anatomy and Physiology for those of you I just confused), at first I thought, no problem, my God given human immune systems have it under control. Then I realized, (once I finally studied for the exam), that my body wont take care of this kind of antigen. This fever just may continue to grow until I do something about it. So what then? Well my initial reaction, being the gym rat that I am, said....a new lifting program. 10 lbs of muscle by May. I'll look hot! Then I got serious, (i'm a busy girl ya know), and decided........................................................................highlights. That's my ticket!!

So I searched and searched, (Google images is just for these kinds of situations) and found exactly what I want.

No pictures yet, but I promise, the new and improved ready for 90 degrees me, is coming soon to a blog near you. (minus the convertible unfortunately).

A Call To Hopless Romanitics

2007-02-14T19:56:00.000-06:00

Okay, so one might think that being single, I would just ignore or bypass this holiday, as most single people do. However, and unfortunately, (for me I think), I am a hopeless romantic. Sooo, in light of the aforementioned and in celebration of this most special day, I thought I would post one of my favorite poems of all time.

Written by William Shakespeare in 1609, this poem, and this poet too for that matter, have the best handle on what I think love should look like, of anyone I have ever read. So, all that said, allow me to share with you "Sonnet 116".

Let me not to the marriage of true minds

Admit impediments. Love is not love

Which alters when it alteration finds,

Or bends with the remover to remove:

Oh, no! it is an ever-fixed mark,

That looks on tempests and is never shaken:

It is the star to every wandering bark,

Whose worth's unknown, although his height be taken.

Love's not Time's fool, though rosy lips and cheeks

Within his bending sickle's compass come;

Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,

But bears it out even to the edge of doom.

If this be error and upon me proved,

I never writ, nor no man ever loved.

Happy Valentines Day!

We did it!

2007-02-05T13:27:00.000-06:00

'Nuff Said Right!?!

Go Colts

2007-02-03T09:26:00.000-06:00

Okay, so I have finally done it. As I have been told for quite some time now to start a blog, mostly by old friends I don't see often, I have finally conceded and here it goes.

So the "big" game is tomorrow. Being from Indiana, now living in Chicago, with two die-hard Bears fans, it is starting to get a little ugly in the house here. My sister and her husband have gone to Miami for the game, which I am beyond jealous about. (Is that the kind of coveting God was talking about, like should I already be asking for forgiveness here)?I digress, back to the game. Anyway, I have placed bets with several people regarding the score tomorrow(i know, i know, more forgiveness), and I must admit, I am beginning to get a little worried. I am a broke college student and have placed significant faith in my Colts. Let me clarify, significant monetary faith in my Colts. When you do that, doesn't it all seem like a good idea at the time. Like when someone is bashing on the team that you love, you so faithfully come to their rescue with "I'll bet you twenty bucks they kick your butt!" You know, that can get a little sticky though, when everyone and I mean everyone, around you is rooting for the other team. So, I will be watching the game tomorrow on pins and needles. I will either have my next semester paid for - or I will be changing the numbers on my student loan packet. Okay, I exaggerate a little, but still, I could use some Colts fans to be on their knees tonight,...where I will be.